Certainties & Serendipities

Two books that had a profound impact on me are Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Steven Covey and Tough Minded Optimist by Norman Vincent Peale. But they are not a result of rigorous scientific research.

Similarly, The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari and Tuesdays With Morrie had positive impact in many lives. These two are not based on scientific research either.

I’m sure there are countless other books, which are not based on scientific research but are inspiring millions around the world.

But the academics routinely dismiss such self-help books which are not based on scientific research. Recently I listened to a motivational talk as part of leadership workshop. The speaker, a Ph.D. in Psychology, dismissed these books because they are not based on scientific research.

One might argue that this argument is limited to self-help genre of books publishing industry. Not quite true.

Let us consider that one of the Dabbawalas publish their success story (contrast to a study by Harvard Business School). Would you read it even though it is not based on scientific research?

• Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to become the best of which you are capable.
• There are tremendous lessons to learn from the great people of the world, but there are just as many to be learned from the quiet people around us.
• If there’s a secret to success, it just might be little things done well.
• Practice simplicity with constant repetition.
• Your not-doing can speak as loudly as your doing.
• Some lessons are learned more subconsciously than consciously.
• Humiliation is not the same thing as correction: One attacks the person; the other attacks the problem.
• …mentoring often involves telling people what they need to hear, rather than what they want to hear.
• ..’mentor’ is both a verb and a noun. It is simultaneously something you do and something you are.
• What matters is what you do with the lessons those mentors teach you.
• It is the principles you should study, not the specific situation.
• …if your principles are solid, you can approach any opportunity with confidence.
• …his patriotism should challenge ideas, not disrespect people.
• …fame, fortune, and power are not success, that the four things mankind craves the most are freedom, happiness, peace, and love, none of which can be obtained without first giving it to someone else.
• …a man of his word will be more effective leader than a man who derives his power from fear, empty promises, or inconsistent policies.
• My father used the immediate to prepare us for the future.

Out of many lives that we come into contact, only some touches our soul. Such lives are, without a doubt, remarkable. But how remarkable a life is that touches your soul even when you have never met, spoken or seen them. Coach John Wooden’s is one such life.

He wrote ‘Game Plan For Life – The Power of Mentoring‘ when he was ninety-nine and he probably knew it would be his last book. He begins the book by saying, “this might be my most important work”. I haven’t read his other books, but I have come to believe his other works would be no less significant.

It is not surprising that he writes about his mentors; after all, this is a book on mentorship. But as you glance through his mentors list, you realize that five out of seven mentors are not famous or popular or can not be considered to have ‘great’ lives by normal standards. Then again, as coach says, “there are tremendous lessons learnt from the great people of the world, but there are just as many to be learned from the quiet people around us“. By this, coach gives us two subtle instructions. First, you don’t have to look too far for mentors. They are in your family, school and society. Secondly, you better lead a life worthy of inspiration, “and in so doing, collectively shape the character of our nation as much as it’s most visible leaders”. I sincerely hope that we will collectively shape the character of our nation as we get into a period of economic growth.

The second part of the book is written by seven of his mentees. They are not just players and assistant coaches he trained but even those “who knew him from afar”, as Roy Williams. A rather interesting addition to the list is Andy Hill who was displeased with the coach for twenty five long years. But it does not matter because in a moment of epiphany he realized that “mentoring often occurs even when you don’t want it to“. That realization helped Andy Hill to make peace with the coach and be a mentor himself.

As I read the pages, I made quite a lot of notes, underlined and cross-referenced many pages. But I did not expect what came at the concluding paragraph. It froze me for a minute and I stared as if he was talking to me in flesh. No book I’ve read, finished with such an impact. He whispers to his readers, in his characteristic gentleness, “you have the potential- no, you have the responsibility – to be a mentor and be mentored“.

If you wish to be mentored by a meaningful life, pick up this book. You will thank me.